Divorce is a very touchy topic. There are so any reasons that a couple may eventually get to this point in their relationship. These are issues that can occur before or after you tie the knot. But they are things that can’t be ignored.
God had many thoughts and laws that were created in the old-testament for those who have had problems in their marriage. The Lord cheers for our success in marriage. Psalms 34:18 states this.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
(thanks to bible gateway for the scriptural references)
Marriage was established by God to give Adam a mate that was a helper and could have a loving relationship and not be lonely. I feel even today God wants us to marry to help us cope with loneliness and have someone to build a life with. In 9th century marriage ceremonies, Christians spoke of an unending covenant like the way the circle of a ring is unending. God wants that relationships to be something you commit your entire life to. The belief in the bible is expressed in Matthew 19:9.
9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
As you can see God was serious about choosing a mate for the long run. When you recite your vows at the ceremony your promise to stay with your partner until the end. You don’t go into this bond without much thought, commitment and feeling. If you expect to spend the rest of your life with your sweetheart, you need to go in with eyes wide open. Marriage can be the greatest and most positive adventure of your life. And granted you don’t know every idiosyncrasy of your wife at the time you say “I do.” It is a learning game. Over time you discover all the likes and dislikes of your mate. Hopefully the vast majority of these items can be in synch but there are times when it isn’t. It’s probably good to have a decent amount of time dedicated to your courtship, where you can learn many of these important elements of your discovery phase. You want these to be very comfortable in a life-long commitment. You can see this in Mark 10:6-9.
6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’[a] 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] 8 and the two will become one flesh.’[c] So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
One crucial element of your investment in marriage is having similar values especially with your religion. When you have a Christian and a non-Christian it can get very messy. Your values and habits may come into conflict. Who are your friends? Will you both attend church? Tithing? There are a myriad of issues that come into play. Check out this scripture. 1 Corinthians 7:12-15.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
If you don’t want constant turmoil and always being pushed to abandon your faith because they don’t understand-this really needs to be addressed before a relationship gets too serious. You want success and comfort in your marriage, so you don’t want to be unequally yoked. That’s why it’s so important that God mentioned it in his word. Let’s look at Proverbs 15:16.
16 Better a little with the fear of the Lord
than great wealth with turmoil.
In this scripture it lauds contentment with your money and not wealth with turmoil. We want a loving union and not let external factors, like money, erode the foundation of that bond. If you love someone, you can be happy in a modest environment as long as you have the Lord, food, shelter and clothing. If you acquire it properly, there is nothing wrong with having more money. As long as you have the basics, I feel that anyone can have a fruitful and long lasting marriage.
People sometimes can drift apart, if they don’t work at keeping it alive. If you don’t feel like it’s working and can’t put your finger on the reason, it’s called irreconcilable differences. People are human and over time things may come into play that sabotage or derail a marriage. It can happen. But it is your responsibility to make every attempt to keep it alive. And if one or both parties throw in the towel, then it may be destined for failure. If no one is happy-there is turmoil-you’ve done everything to revive it-then divorce may be the only option. But go to the Lord in prayer during this timeframe and put your concerns before him. He may be the only one to push you forward in trying to salvage it. 1 Peter 5:7.
7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
The main thing to remember is that God is with you. Divorce is not the end of your life. It is one chapter and you can write a better story for the future. God can guide your path. If you want a new, better, brighter relationship after this- he is there to support you. Unfortunately, the statistics on this aren’t good. About 41% of couples end up in divorce. Look at this scripture. Jeremiah 29:11.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
This is just a cursory look at divorce. There are a plethora of other issues with this topic. But many of these are ancillary to the topic of why the marriage didn’t survive. Financial stress and infidelity are the top 2 topics that can be discussed at another time. God has nothing but the best in mind for you. You are his child and he will support you in having a future with him in the center of it. Rely on him and he can help you weather any storm.
